They're here!

When I started this blog, I started it with a lot of intentions:

1. To document the scary journey of a twin pregnancy;
2. To offer up advice to other new mothers of twins as I go through the process myself;
3. To have a journal of the best thing that's every happened to me.

#1 and #2 ended up not being as relevant, as I had a really easy pregnancy for anyone, let alone a twin pregnancy.  I didn't post nearly as much as I intended, and to be perfectly honest, other than the regular old awesome pregnancy stuff, nothing that exciting happened.  I'm a little sad that I missed writing about the incredible feeling of the kicks and wiggles in my belly.  Slightly disappointed that I failed to record my rollercoaster of emotions as they fluctuated from the highest highs to the lowest lows, the greatest triumphs to the most awful fears.

But here I am, a new mom, and my journey has completely changed from a twin pregnancy to a twin motherhood.  As I type this, I'm listening to little noises from my sweet girls and wondering if they're ready to wake up yet for the next feeding (when I just put them down ten minutes ago).

And as promised, here is my birth story, which I am so excited to write!

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As you all know, I had a very uneventful pregnancy.  I was a trooper, and so were my girls.  Their weights and measurements were nearly identical through the pregnancy.  My doctor never recommended a specialist, and other than the typical twin stuff (extra ultrasounds, appointments and check-ups a little more often) we didn't have to do anything crazy to take care of our growing little ones in my belly.

I worked my whole pregnancy, taking days off only for doctor appointments that I couldn't schedule after school.  And other than some excessive swelling and a little exhaustion on those extra long school days, I didn't really change much as a teacher.

So it was a huge surprise to me when on my birthday, a Monday (Nov. 18), when we were 36 weeks exactly, my doctor told me I shouldn't go back to work.  My blood pressure was "a little high" and she wanted me on modified bed rest (chilling at home) to try to get it down.  She mentioned she wanted to see me Wednesday to check my blood pressure again.

I wasn't ready to leave work... but I have to admit, I was grateful to be home and resting before my girls came.  It let me have a couple of days to hang out with Rob and just breathe.  I packed our hospital bags, but I wasn't really concerned that we'd be giving birth anytime soon.

Wednesday came and we went back to see the doctor.  In the back of my mind was "what if we have to go have babies?" but it was one of those fears that was only in the back of my mind.  Didn't think it could actually happen.

But my blood pressure was still pretty high; in fact, it was a little higher than Monday.  Doctor said, "I'm going to need you guys to head over to Labor and Delivery so we can monitor you and those babies.  We'll try to get that blood pressure down and if it doesn't lower we'll see about having some babies."

WHAT?!  I started shaking.  I wasn't ready!  Mommyhood was going to hit me soon and I wasn't ready yet.  The doctor told us we had some time to go get our stuff together at home, but they would be expecting us at L&D.

On our way home to get our things and stop to get something to eat, we decided that we weren't going to call anyone just yet.  We weren't sure what was going on, and if they could lower my blood pressure, we'd end up going home anyway.  There was no reason to worry anyone or get anyone excited.

When we got to the hospital, everything started to feel a little more permanent.  It made me realize that this probably wasn't going to be a short stay.  They hooked a bracelet to my wrist with all my info and sent someone down with a wheelchair to push me upstairs to the birthing center.  THAT was a hoot.  I was like, "seriously, I can walk..." but they wouldn't let me.

They took us to a big room where we sat for hours with a blood pressure cuff checking me every 10 minutes.  It started to get really painful to have my blood pressure checked, which the nurse said meant it was raising and getting really high.  Luckily Rob had his computer so he could keep himself entertained... there was literally nothing going on in that big room other than the machine checking my blood pressure.  They also had monitors on my belly checking for contractions (existent, but not regular) and the babies' heartbeats.  The girls were fine... my blood pressure was not.

Eventually, my doctor came in to check up on me, and suggested that I be put on magnesium to try to lower my blood pressure.  She said they'd continue to monitor the babies, but it shouldn't really affect them other than making them a little tired.  I had been so against taking anything my whole pregnancy... but my blood pressure was getting dangerously high.  They were also monitoring the protein in my urine (Sorry if TMI) which was very high, telling my doctor that I probably had pre-eclampsia.

They put an IV port in my hand (gross!) and started me on a magnesium drip.  It slowed me down a lot, but the babies heartbeats stayed high and strong.  The nurses were all really surprised that the girls were still as active and happy as they were.

Hours and hours later, my blood pressure was not lowering.  it'd drop every once in a while, but for the most part, it was staying up.  Doctor came in and mentioned induction.

I stayed on the magnesium all of Wednesday, was switched to a different room where I was on the mag overnight, and into Thursday.

Thursday was the worst.  The nurses and my doctor came in to let me know that we'd really need to consider induction and be prepared for a cesarean.  I couldn't handle hearing that news.  I was adament about letting them know I wanted to have as natural a birth as was possible; as little medications as we could and definitely vaginal.  My doctor was willing to deliver my girls, but we couldn't guarantee who'd be on duty when they decided to come.  I spent Thursday in tears at the thought of a c-section, an epidural, and all the things I didn't want when I had my girls.

The birthing center was PACKED that night, and I am so grateful for that.  The night doctor that evening was too busy with active labors to come in and start my induction, and the nurses weren't sure if she was comfortable delivering twins vaginally, especially with one of them breech.  So I spent Thursday night in bed on magnesium still.

Friday morning, my doctor was back on duty.  I was so grateful.  She decided to give me a dose of Cytotek, a medication that softens the cervix.  She mentioned that for people who already had kids, Cytotek could start contractions, but since I was a first time mom, it probably wouldn't.

Sure enough, I was the anomaly, and the Cytotek made those random contractions I was having more regular and stronger.  I started early labor that Friday morning, and was moved into yet another room.  The labor room was the fourth room since being admitted Wednesday morning.

**More coming!**

Missing Milestones

As I get farther along in this pregnancy, it's becoming so normal that I struggle to keep things up to date.

For me personally, this is the most incredible, life-changing, wonderful thing that has ever (and will ever) happen to me.  My little girls have become my world.  Not a moment goes by that they're not on my mind in one way or another.  However, as I experience all the amazingness of twin pregnancy, I forget to record things: write them, blog them, photograph them.  I haven't taken an updated belly shot in WEEKS!

I would like to commit myself to every Sunday.  I want to be a resource for other twin mamas (and mamas in general) in case others happen upon this blog, and I want to keep all of my friends and loved ones in the know.

I'm not saying this as a promise that I'll write every Sunday... but hopefully by giving some written affirmation here I'll commit.  I especially want to keep track of how life is different once the girls are here!

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As far as twin pregnancies go (and probably as far as any pregnancy goes!), this has been a fairly uneventful journey.  Don't get me wrong, I am grateful for it, but I also find myself wondering, when do the bad parts of this pregnancy thing come?  

When I first found out my little angel was angelS, I was overwhelmed with fear.  Excitement, too, but mostly fear.  I had heard bits and pieces about twin pregnancies-- and most of what I heard was how high-risk and dangerous twin pregnancies are.

We left our first ultrasound overwhelmed and excited, but my mama radar was going crazy with "this is scary.  This is going to be hard.  How is this going to affect work?  Am I going to have premies?"  Things I had never considered my baby going through flooded through me-- and it was times 2!  Of course I was excited.  Of course I was overwhelmed with joy on top of the fear.  But part of me knew this pregnancy was going to be terribly hard.

And now, here I sit, thirty weeks in, taking a nice warm (because I'm not allowed to take "hot" until after these girls are out!) bath, writing about what a breeze this all has been, the scent of lavender and chamomile flooding my nose and the soft luxurious feeling of epsom salts calming my sore muscles.

I've come to the conclusion that the negatives of pregnancy, those regular aches and pains, those normal gripes and rants and raves, are really nothing if you make them nothing.  [Disclaimer: I'm not speaking of any complications... just those normal pregnancy gripes that you always hear about: sore, tired, swollen feet, headaches, queasiness, etc.]

Some things that I have experienced (and pretty severely on some of them):

Soreness.  This is one of those things I'd say I've experienced in a "severe" way.  Some days it's hard to move.  The pressure on my hips, the spreading of my pelvis, the tightness in my muscles... at some points, it's almost unbearable.  But here's the thing-- I'm in control of all that.  Some days, I take care of myself with an awesome prenatal yoga video I found on Youtube.  Those nights I sleep soundly, and the next day I'm rejuvenated and have virtually no soreness.  I also started seeing a chiropractor, who told me my hips and pelvis were slightly out of alignment.  I now see him twice a week, and that helps with a lot of the soreness.  More on him later, though.

Exhaustion.  Let's be real.  I work full time as a middle school teacher.  Pregnant or not, I start my day tired and end my day tired.  Of course, this pregnancy has done nothing to help that.  Eight hours of sleep used to be more than enough.  Now, eight hours gives me just enough to wish that I could sleep longer.  Some days are bad.  Just like with the soreness, there are some days where the tiredness is almost unbearable-- where I'm not sure if I can continue with the next class period let alone the rest of the day.  But you know what?  It's really not that bad.  It could be-- if I made it that way.  But I don't.  I realize that I could be much worse off, and I'm grateful that being a little sore and a little tired is all I'm dealing with.

Swelling.  Of all the things I'm handling in this pregnancy, the hardest is to deal with is the swelling.  I drink a ton of water (gallons, maybe) a day, and I stay very active (I'm a teacher, remember?) but my body still goes on retaining water.  My shoe size is up a size and a half, and even those size 8's, which I've never been in before, are hard to velcro some mornings.  It gets to the point sometimes where I can't even wiggle my toes.  They're so swollen that they just won't move.  At the end of the day, I soak them, put them above my heart if I can, and let them just be.

Looking at my list, I almost feel guilty complaining.  Yet I see so many mamas, singletons and multiples, who do nothing but that: complain.  "I want these babies out.  I want my body back."  Some of them have a right to complain: some of them are going through some serious business.  But for those who are experiencing just a little more or a little less than what I mentioned above... just calm down, be happy that you're pregnant, enjoy the time you've got with them.  It will be over soon, and then you'll miss them wiggling around and being safe and warm in your belly.  I already miss mine being there, and they're not going to be out for 6 or 8 more weeks!

Yes, I want my body back.  I can't wait to go for a jog, to walk up stairs at a normal pace without getting winded.  I can't wait to be able to sit up on my own and take a full breath in without babies being pressed against my lungs.  But I'm in no hurry.  Yes I'm tired.  Of course I'm sore.  No, I don't know where my organs are and I'm excited for them to return to their normal resting places.  But I want to hang on to the wonderfulness as long as I can.  I love growing my girls, and I'll take the aches and pains any day just to experience them growing inside me.

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One thing I was dreading in this pregnancy was something I knew was inevitable, as I'm growing two humans inside my tiny little belly: stretch marks.  I knew I was predisposed: my mama got them when she was pregnant with my brother and I (though hers went away), and I had some silver ones on my hips and behind from growing during puberty [even though I'm fit and small-framed, I am one of those "fat-bottomed girls" Queen so lovingly talks about].  My first ones of the pregnancy came on the girls-- I don't mean the twins.  At first I was devastated; I even cried.  Then I realized that no one would ever be seeing those, and even if they did see some marks while I wore a bikini, who cares?  So at one point my boobs got huge.  Whatevs.  Besides that, they were the silver kind, not red.  Hardly noticeable.

But I still dreaded getting them on my pretty little belly.  I may have gained a lot of weight since I started teaching, but I still had an admirable tummy (even when I started to get a little squishier).  I couldn't fathom being able to wear a bikini ever again if I got tummy stretch marks.

Then I got them.

And it was nothing like when I first got them on the girls.  I almost felt... I don't know... relieved?  Excited isn't the right word, because I wasn't jumping for joy or anything.  I think PROUD is the right word.  I always thought that saying "they aren't ugly... you're a tiger who's earned her stripes" was so STUPID!  But that's kind of how I felt.  Maybe it's because I was tired of being told I was "small" for twins.  I don't know.  But I feel kind of proud to have those squiggly silver lines on the bottom half of my belly.  Grow girls, grow!

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As far as the twins themselves go, our most recent check-up/ultrasound at 28 weeks showed very positive things.  Rain weighed 2 lbs 10 oz, and Rogue was 2 lbs 11 oz.  Perfect growth and right on track with each other.  And perfectly on track with where a singleton baby would be.  Except I have two.  So for those of you who said "oh, your babies must be small."  NOPE.  They're perfectly normal, thanks :)

I met with the doctor at 30 weeks and she said I was a "boring patient" but that's a good thing!  I never give her anything to do because the twinsies and I are perfectly healthy :).

Even the chiropractor, Dr. Mike Long at Renaissance Chiropractic Center, said that I was above average health wise, and less stressed than most people, especially pregnant moms.  That was a pleasant surprise for me.

I started seeing Dr. Mike after he visited our birth class at the Birthing Inn one week.  He talked about how the normal pregnancy aches and pains can be alleviated with proper care and adjustment.  Even newborns can be out of alignment.  I started seeing him not because of aches and pains (although he helps those things!) but because he, my birth instructor, and my doctor all mentioned that chiropractic care can help encourage babies to spin into proper position.  The only negative I've gotten from my doctor appointments and ultrasounds is that the babies are both still breech.  Their heads are pushing up against my lungs, and it should be their feet kicking my organs.

Right now, I'm doing everything I can to get these girls to spin.  Well, everything my doctor suggests/condones.

I'm really, really praying for a natural birth with these little ladies.  But I'll save all that for another blog.

In fact, I realize that it's getting late for this twin mama, and I've kept you waiting this long... coming up in my next update (hopefully before next Sunday!):

-Baby shower (and suggestions for yours, maybe!)
-Maternity photos (yes, do them.  You'll regret not doing them.)
-Moving (homes) while pregnant
-Tacoma Parents of Multiples (multiples clubs)
-other FUN updates!

Ask A Twin Mom.... (or, what not to ask.)

I'm in the process of working on an update post where I talk about my sweet girls, but I'm feeling a little more motivated to answer all the questions that twin moms seem to be bombarded with.

I'm sure all pregnant moms (or moms who have been pregnant) know that pregnancy is the time for questions and comments-- pregnancy is also the time for you to be offended by stupid things that people don't actually mean to offend you with.  Here's a few of the big questions (offensive and not) that I've been asked:

Did you want twins?

To be blunt, no, I did not want twins.  To be perfectly honest, before we got pregnant, we didn't actually want a baby at all.

Okay, okay.  You guys know me too well.  Of course I wanted a baby.  It's just that we weren't TRYING for a baby.  So I can't say we "wanted twins."

I don't know anyone who actually has twins who "wanted twins."  It's just not something you think about.  I never even considered twins as a possibility, aside from the occasional "haha, what if it's twins?" joke.

All that being said, I am SO happy to be having my twin girls.  At this point, I can't imagine it any other way!  I even catch myself thinking it's strange that people are pregnant with only ONE baby.  We are blessed to have two healthy baby girls in one go.

I have to admit that sometimes, I feel a little bit "elite" because we have twins.  I feel sort of special.  Of course, I would never tell that to the faces of any of my singleton mommies.  Being a mom is elite and special as it is... I just like thinking we're extra special.

Were they conceived naturally?

[Most] People who know me are smart enough to realize that since we weren't TRYING for babies, we obviously conceived them naturally.  However, this seems to be a question strangers think is appropriate to ask someone, whether it's ladies from church or strangers in the grocery store.

No, we were not on any fertility treatments.  We were not using Chlomid.  So yes, I either dropped two eggs or the egg we fertilized together split in two.  Naturally.

Little word of advice: Never EVER ask a woman if her twins (or her baby in general!!) were conceived naturally.  For people who struggle with fertility and conception, or for people who have a history of miscarriages, it is incredibly insensitive to ask questions like that.  You may not think it's offensive or that it affects people at all, but for people who struggled for months or years just to conceive, please don't ask if their twins were "natural."

What does it feel like being pregnant with twins?

This question was recently asked by one of my students.  The best thing I could think to say was, "it's the most awesome and most awful thing I've ever experienced."

I don't think it's possible for anyone to comprehend what it's like to pregnant at all if they've never been.  Being pregnant with twins is the same.  So please don't think I'm being rude when I have a very short answer for you.  It's really impossible to describe unless you've carried children before.

I will try my best to describe a few things to you, though...

• Yes, it DOES feel like there are aliens inside me.  And it does feel like they're trying to claw their way out.  It's not painful, though.  It's the best feeling I've ever experienced.  Kind of like if you take your thumb and rub it on your stomach at a medium pressure... only imagine it from the inside.  And I get it twice... it's awesome :)  Sometimes both at the same time!
• My organs are pressed into my ribs.  Condensed, really.  Squished as much as they'll go.  So my stomach, my lungs, my intestines... they're all still in there, but they're now occupying the same space because my uterus is taking over my insides.  So I am hungry all the time, but always full as soon as I eat.  Constantly hungry and full at the same time.  I get winded walking up a half a flight of stairs, because my lungs have no room to expand.
• I'm also always thirsty.  Always.
• I am more away of my ankles, my feet, my pelvis, and my sciatic nerve than I've ever been and [hopefully] ever will be.  They are always sore and achy.  They always feel like they are being pulled apart and stretched.
• My belly doesn't really feel that heavy.  It's there, it's huge, it sometimes gets tight... but it almost feels like a separate entity that happens to be a part of me.
• Speaking of tight... Braxton Hicks contractions are weird.  My uterus gets super tight.  Like imagine your whole stomach takes on a life of it's own and pulls into itself to form a little soccer ball.  Then just loosens back up.  No pain, just tightness.  Weird.
• I can no longer see all of my body parts that I used to be able to see.

I'm sure there's more... but that's the most I can think of for now.  I'm guessing all of what I described is the same for singleton mamas.

Are they identical, or fraternal?

Let me use this opportunity to explain the different types of twins (forgive me if I already have, blame it on pregnancy brain).

mo/mo twins are monochorionic and monoamniotic.  That means they share a sac and a placenta.  It means that their egg split but they never developed their own membrane or placenta.  They are always identical.

mo/di twins are monochorionic and diamniotic, meaning they share a placenta but are in separate sacs.  They are also identical.

di/di twins are dichorionic and diamniotic.  They have their own placentas and their own sacs.  This means they could be fraternal OR identical.  There is a 30% chance they're identical (the egg split early in conception) and a 70% chance they're fraternal (two eggs dropped).  These are the "safest" kind of twins, as they have the fewest risks.

My girls are di/di.  For some reason, people do not believe me when I tell them I don't know if they're identical or fraternal.  More often then not, people look at me like an idiot when I say the only way to know is a blood test.  Even people who have twins or are twins ask me, "are you sure?  I'm pretty sure you know if they're identical or fraternal."

I'll tell you guys right now, so you avoid any awkwardness when talking to twin moms:

• The only way to tell (without a blood test) if twins are IDENTICAL is if they are mo/mo or mo/di.
• The only way to tell (without a blood test) if twins are FRATERNAL is if they are boy/girl.

My twins are di/di girls, so they have a 30% chance of being identical.  I can't tell you more until they are born.

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I'm so lucky to have been blessed with twins.  When I imagined this post originally, I imagined it being more of a rant.  Now I'm having fun answering questions!  Though some of my answers are kind of snippy, I am happy to answer questions.  Please feel free to ask them.  Maybe I'll even blog about them :)

Oh, and don't feel bad if I (or any other pregnant lady you meet) get snippy with you.  I'm hormonal.  I'm uncomfortable.  So sometimes I snip before I think :)  Which I suppose is another symptom I should have listed above!

Be looking out for a REAL update post soon!  We started birth classes and have had so many changes and so much growth in the last few weeks since I've updated.  Stay tuned!  ;)

First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage, Then Comes... uh oh...

After thinking about this for a blog post the past few days, I came across this article on marriage and the family dynamic.  I'm going to speak for myself, and then speak to the article.

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My significant other, Rob, and I, are not married.

Now that the initial shock and typical reactions that come with being appalled have passed, let me continue.

As I write this, I realize that I'm sounding MUCH more negative than when I started writing this post yesterday.  That's because today I received a letter from someone much more traditional and judgmental than I am asking, "when's the wedding?"

It begs an answer.  And I don't think that I have to give one.

Rob and I are desperately in love (sorry, I know, puke... haha).  We've known since very shortly after we started our relationship that we'd be spending our lives together.  We fell in love deeply and quickly.  We talked about getting married one day, and about 2 years into our relationship, we planned a wedding.  We know all the details, all the way down to an estimated cost.  We also decided at that point that we weren't in any rush to get married.

Rob moved from Colorado to be with me.  We are part of each others' families, each others' lives, and we are as into this relationship as any two people could be.  We communicate better than a lot of people I know, and even though we seem to bicker a lot, a lot of it is playful bickering.  [Sorry to be a middle school girl about our relationship, I just want to give a little insight to people who don't know us that well.  Hopefully I'm not being too girly.]

Okay, ready for this?  I'm going to throw another shocker at you..  Prepare yourself, this next one is a doozy.

Rain Elizabeth and Rogue Lillian were not planned.

Please untie your panties from the bunch they're in.

When we were originally mapping out our lives, Rob and I had a five year plan that included getting married and buying a house before we decided to try to have kids.  But life, as many of you know, doesn't always work out the way you plan.

In case I need to remind any of you, Rob and I could not be happier to have our twins on the way.  We are enamored with them already, and ecstatic at their existence.  We are so happy that they're coming, planned or not.  We love them equally as much, or maybe more, than a planned baby (I say more because the fact that they're unplanned twins means they're meant to be!) and wouldn't change a thing.

The fact that we are so happy to have them coming leaves me thinking: I have no qualms about not being married.  The only thing that concerns me is that my girls will [temporarily] have a different last name than me.  And that's not a big deal.  And why should I have qualms?

The first thing I was asked by a few of the more "traditional" people in my life was "oh, you're pregnant?  When are you getting married?"  But what about babies means marriage?

I'm not going to lie and say that these babies are not changing mine and Rob's relationship.  Of course they are.  Babies change any relationship.  But why is our relationship less valid if we don't have paper that says it's valid?

I know people who were married less than six months.  Was their relationship more valid than mine?  I know people who are my age and YOUNGER (I'm 24) who have been married and divorced twice.  More than one of them are on their third marriage.  Are their relationships more valid than mine?  What makes a relationship valid enough to have a child?

The other concern for many of those more "traditional" people is the religious aspect of marriage: the "no pre-marital sex" thing, you know, because it's a sin and all.  But I'd like to argue that God knows me much better than even I know myself; he knows my intentions and he's aware that I plan to spend my life with Rob, ring and a piece of paper or not.

On top of that, God's not going to love me or my children any less just because Rob and I are living together with children out of wedlock.  I refuse to believe that any god would love a person less, especially for such a silly reason.

Yes, Rob and I will get married.  Our target is next summer.  And our daughters will be a part of our wedding.  But I feel no obligation to rush into it, to speed up our date, or do anything of the sort just because our babies are coming a few years earlier than we planned.

I love the father of my children, and we have a stronger relationship than many people I know, married or unmarried.  I plan to marry him, and heck, sometimes I even call him my husband.  But he's just as much my "husband" right now as he will be when we sign the papers and pay the government.

The judgement from others makes me sad and it makes me uncomfortable.  I'm pressured to want to make people happy, and I'm discouraged and easily affected by others' negativity.  But when I think about it, I almost get this "screw you" attitude.  We will be married.  We are a happy family already, and God recognizes our relationship, even if we haven't both signed a paper saying we're legally married.

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As for the article (linked above), the only thing I really have to say that is the direction it took is kind of sad.  "many feel that living together and having a family only gets more complicated—and more expensive—if you get married and end up splitting." This is a really uncomfortable dynamic of our society.  I would not have moved in with Rob if we had any notion of splitting.  That was a commitment we made to each other.  On top of that, if we didn't plan on spending our lives together or had a fear of splitting in the future, we would have taken MANY more precautions to make sure that we didn't have babies.

We aren't choosing not to get married because it gets complicated if you split.  We aren't choosing it because it's hip (the article also mentions celebrities opting out of marriage).  We are just content right now.  We will get married and we will spend our lives together.  But these babies don't mean we have to rush it.  In fact, that seems less responsible to me than just waiting.

You can picture it in these two ways:

SITUATION A: "Rain, Rogue, we DID have this beautiful wedding planned in the woods with all our friends and family, but we decided instead to pay a courthouse 2 months before you came so that we'd be married when you were born."

SITUATION B:  "Rain, Rogue, look at these beautiful photos of you at our wedding when you were 7 months old!  We were so happy that you got to be a part of mommy and daddy's wedding!"

I definitely prefer situation B.  Sorry mom.  Sorry grandma.  We'll get married next summer, with our out-of-wedlock babies in tow.

The Big Day... Anatomy Scan!

Well, today was the day!

Let me start by saying that I should have scheduled the ultrasound for early in the morning to avoid the wait I had to endure all day!  I even tried to stay up late last night so that I could sleep in this morning... no such luck.  I was up and ready to go by 8:00 am and it was a pain in the rump to keep myself entertained until 2:15.

When the time finally came, I got somewhat dolled up, assuming our camera would be working... unfortunately, I didn't plan well and the battery died at the scan.  No problem... cell phone to the rescue!

We were early to our appointment... the first one we've ever been early to... and sat in the parking lot for a few minutes scarfing down some french fries and orange juice, hoping to make the sweet babies wiggle a little and not stay in one spot.

When we finally went in, we actually had to wait in the waiting room.  Crazy, right?  Remember, we were early (we're normally right on time).  Every time a nurse came out of the back, I perked up, ready to go.  THREE PEOPLE were ahead of us!

Finally it was our turn... we got to skip right past my weigh in (we'd do that after) and go straight to the ultrasound room.  She wasted no time getting me up on that table and ready to go.  I appreciate you, ultrasound tech!

This is "Baby A" (the baby closest to my cervix,

the baby that will be born first).

She's a GIRL!!












This sweet angel is "Baby B" (the baby higher up in my uterus.)











She's a girl, too!











Both babies were measuring fabulously.  Baby A was measuring 2 days behind, and Baby B 2 days ahead.  Basically this means they're both average.  They showed no abnormalities and everything looked perfect.  They were even cuddling at the beginning of the scan!

What was more fun was creating our big reveal!  After the appointment, we headed off to Build a Bear Workshop.  There, we each took a twin...

Mommy was going to make a critter for Twin A, to be known forever as Rain Elizabeth.

Daddy took responsibility for Twin B's critter.  Her name is Rogue Lillian.

We decided on bunnies.  They were sweet looking, soft, and I have a special place in my heart for bunnies (those who know me will recall my comfort animal, Bunny).

Putting them together was a blast.  I already had a plan for mine... tutus and bows... simple.  But Rob took so much joy in picking out outfits.  He even tried on multiple things on Rogue's bunny... glasses, flowers, skirts, and he was so excited to dress it.

We named the bunnies after our girls: Rogue Lillian and Rain Elizabeth.

The really fun part, aside from finding out about our girls and making their first stuffed animals, was the reveal to the family.

First, we sent everyone this picture:

Who's in these boxes?  Boy bears?  Girl bears?  One of each?

We wanted to keep everything suspenseful, and since we have a lot of family who is out of town, we wanted them all to be a part of the excitement.

For my parents, it was easy... we just took the sweet little boxes of bunnies over to their house and let them open them, one by one.  Unfortunately, our real camera died before we even got to use it (irresponsible pregnant brain!) so these are blurry cell phone shots.

 For everyone else, they had to be sent the reveal... one... picture... at a time...

Gramma Britton was going CRAZY because of how long in between each picture was.  But she was happy in the end to find out it was two baby girls :)

It was so much fun to find out about our little girls.  It's funny: I thought I wanted a boy or two, but now that I know they're girls, I can't imagine anything else.  I'm so excited for all of the fun stuff that goes along with having girls :)

THERE you are! (I think.)

This week, I got to experience my twins in a way that I have never experienced anything.

Now, I've been feeling (what I think are/were) flutters since about 13 or 14 weeks; strange movements in my tummy unlike any gas or digestion I've ever felt, so I can only assume it was the twins.

Around 16 weeks, those flutters kind of stopped.  I didn't worry, because their heartbeats were fine on the Doppler at our check-up.  But when 18 weeks hit and I still hadn't felt anything, I started to wonder what was going on.  Other mamas on my birth clubs and message boards were feeling their babies already (some of them even feeling them from the outside!) and I wasn't.  I think I assumed since they're twins, I'd get to feel those types of things sooner, since they're squished into a small space and since my uterus is about the size of one for one baby at 24 weeks.  I thought wrong though.  I was feeling zilch.

This week, the flutters came back... and they're not just flutters, they're real tickles and movements!  From the inside, anyway.

I still doubt myself, wondering if it's other body stuff happening, but no, I'm almost positive this is twins.

Daddy Rob has felt them a few times.  Not kicks, but little rolls (they must be doing somersaults when he puts his hand on my belly!)  He gets so excited when I point to a hard spot on my tummy that I think is baby; he'll put his hand there and gasp when he feels something.  It's so strange, I don't really feel it from the inside when he's pressing on them, but he does.  I imagine them with a shocked look on their face, going "WTF, dad?  We're already squished enough in here without you pushing on us!" and I think that's the cutest little bit of whining ever, and it makes me smile.

Things that make them move: singing, eating, laying on my back, talking to them.  They love mommy's voice, and I love that!  Well, either they love it or I'm just waking them up every time I decide to poke them and talk to them.  I can't really feel them unless I've eaten recently or have a full bladder.  My guess is that they get squished when I eat or have to pee.  The one exception to this rule was the other day when I was hungry: my stomach growled (LOUD) and that certainly caught them off guard... I felt them even standing up!  Normally I have to be lying on my back to feel them.

Feeling them in there makes them all the more real to me.  It's been one of the most incredible things I've experienced in my life.  Right up there with finding out there were two, seeing them as little beans for the first time, and hearing their sweet heartbeats for the first time.  It's almost like they're communicating with me from in there, saying, "hey mom, we're here!" and I love it.

I can't wait to feel their first little kicks :)

I really am enjoying being pregnant.  Aside from the PUPPPS and the insane morning sickness, aside from the back pain every now and then, I am so happy to have my little ones growing in me.  I'm loving planning for them, dreaming of them... I'm grateful for nesting and for the happy feelings.  I love you, sweet twinsies!

And to you mama's who keep telling me "you won't enjoy it later... it hurts.  It's annoying. blah blah blah.  Buzz off, and let me enjoy my pregnancy.  :p

PUPPPS: the devil in rash form.

So many things have been happening in the last 2 weeks!  So this is my 19 week update, then I'll write the very exciting 20 week update, and you'll get a BONUS one on Friday!  (Or Saturday, whenever I get around to writing it.)

Two of the strongest sensations so far in pregnancy have hit me this week: one of them is the worst thing I've ever experienced and the other is the greatest (well, one of the greatest... I feel like everything that tells me my twins are really here is the greatest.)

I'll start with last week so that we can stick to chronological order.  Come on a journey with my through torture and triumph...

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Of all pregnancy symptoms out there, one that I'd never heard of and never considered was unbearable itchiness.  Don't get me wrong, I knew my skin would be stretching fairly rapidly (40 pounds in 9 months is going to be a big change for my little body), and I know a little bit of discomfort (read: itchiness) is expected.  But a couple of Sundays ago, I woke up for church with a little more more than "slight discomfort."  My legs were itchy in spots, and there wasn't really any relief from the itch when I scratched.  I was at a barbecue the day before, though, so I just assumed bug bites and wrote it off.  I didn't think much of it, just put some lotion on and called it a day.

It was night time where I wanted to saw my legs off on my hips (and happily would have, too!).  That night, I was so itchy I couldn't sleep.  It came on gradually throughout the day, but when it hit, OH BABY did it hit!  I clawed at my legs like an animal until they were red and raw.  I don't know how I actually got to sleep.

Monday it was worse.  The same sensation from the night before plagued me all day.  It got to the point where I showered multiple times, hoping the water would relieve my discomfort (NOTE FOR YOU MOMS-TO-BE: HOT WATER MAKES IT WORSE!  DON'T DO IT!).  I even scrubbed my legs with a pumice stone.... not to exfoliate, but hoping to slough my skin off.  (ha)

By Tuesday morning, I decided it wasn't bug bites and I was way too miserable to be having an allergic reaction, so I started to do what everyone [who wants to freak out] does when they're having symptoms of any kind.  No, I didn't call the doctor: I Googled it.

I learned 2 things are common with pregnancy, and even more-so with twin pregnancy: liver issues and the worst thing in the history of all things "benign:" PUPPPS.

The liver thing is possible, as I've been having some unexplained pain and fluttering behind the left side of my ribs, but I didn't have the other symptoms of the liver issue.

When I read up on PUPPPS, I cried for an hour on my bed thinking that I might have it.  I know I sound like a big baby (it's not life threatening in any way to me or the twins), but I dreaded the thought that I would have PUPPPS for the remainder of my pregnancy.

PUPPPS is "pruritic urticarial papules and plaques of pregnancy."  Now, I don't really know what that means medically or scientifically, but in layman's terms, it means "the most ridiculous and pointless and unexplained itchy ugly mess that you'll ever have to deal with that doesn't go away until your babies are born or a few weeks after."

AHH!  I cried because I can't even explain the discomfort.  I've been lucky enough to not have experienced any traumas that were too terrible, but I HAVE broken bones, gotten burns, migraines, etc... and I'd take ANY of those over the PUPPPS itchiness.

I finally called the nurse on duty at my clinic, who explained both the liver thing and PUPPPS.  The next day I went and gave them a nice big vile of blood and researched some tips for relief.

I discovered, through the goodness of other mamas who'd gone through it, the most wonderful miracle next to my sweet twins:

                                                             Grandpa's Pine Tar Soap.

Ladies, I promise you... if you ever have the misfortune of experiencing PUPPPS, whether it's early in your pregnancy like me or in the last few weeks (which is more common), ignore EVERY OTHER "treatment" offered to you.  Don't bother with Benadryl, don't waste your money on Hydrocortizone.  Go to your local natural market (I love Marlene's on 38th in Tacoma; they also provided my Mother's Special Blend to prevent stretch marks) or get on Amazon or wherever you know you can find natural organic soaps and supplements.  Buy a bar of Grandpa's Pine Tar Soap.  Use it at LEAST once a day.

Fair warning: you WILL smell like a hardware store.  And while it doesn't relieve every ounce of itching, after 2 days of using it, the unsightly bumps on my legs were gone and the itching was DRAMATICALLY decreased.

I never heard back from the doctor about my liver, so I'm guessing my blood-work came back just fine.  Which probably means I do have PUPPPS, and I will have it until after the twinsies make their debut.  But thanks to Grandpa (I'm not sure whose grandpa...) I can sleep at night and I'm not trying to scrape the skin off of my legs.

Thank goodness for other mommies on the internet.