Top Questions and Comments from Students

-"Are they boys or girls?"

-"What are their names?"

-"Is THAT why you've been so grumpy?"

-"No wonder you're eating all the time!"

-"Did you tell your mom?"

-"Does it feel weird to have two people in you?"

-"But you're not even big!"

-"Are you gonna get huge?!"

"We're your first kids!"

I've been waiting until 12 weeks to tell my students the big news-- I figured 11 1/2 is close enough.

I am a middle school teacher and ASB adviser, so you're probably already aware that my school year next year will be dramatically affected.  There are substitutes for my class, but ASB is a huge job.  I asked a fabulous (and more experienced) ASB adviser from another school, who transferred to ours, to co-advise with my next year.  She accepted, and we'll work together next year, and it will be fabulous :)

Now for the exciting news!  I introduced the new adviser to my group of ASB students today, and so I knew it also had to be the day I told them about the twinsies.  I used Google for some motivation and finally decided on this:

HANGMAN!

I waited until the end of our business part of the meeting, then opened the game up on my SmartBoard.  They led everything, taking turns guessing letters, and just having a general good time trying to figure it out.

It didn't take long for them to figure out "Ms. Hall is..."  but they were a little stuck on what I am!  They guessed a few sweet things "Ms. Hall is great?  No... Ms. Hall is awesome?  No... that doesn't fit..."  (flattered, I am.)

They started passing around "Adam the ASB Horse" (their talking stick) and guessing letters one at a time.  The clincher for one of my little boys was the "n."  Once my little student got the horse after the "n," his smile turned to a look of shock, his face turned bright red, and he looked right at me.  The other students were waiting for him to guess.  They knew he had it...

He hesitated... but finally said... "Ms. Hall... is... pregnant?!"

All of the heads in the room turned right to me.  I'm surprised the didn't get whiplash.  I smiled.There was squeeling, there was cheering, there was "OMG, are you?!"

The secretary typed the answer in to the Hangman game... and it said "You have won!"

More squeels, more cheering, more "OMG!"

It was the freaking cutest thing I've ever seen.  I felt my face get red.  And I said, "guess what?!"  (I can't believe they could hear me through their noise)... they went SILENT... and I said... "it's twins!" and covered my mouth.  My classroom EXPLODED!!  AAAAHHHH!  They were so cute.

Then the questions started... "are they boys are girls?"  "What are their names?"  it was so noisy and adorable.

One student raised her hand to ask me something, and everyone quieted down to let her.  "Are these your first kids?"

I said yes, but I was quickly corrected.  One of my 8th graders, my student of three years, said, "No they aren't.  WE'RE your first kids."

Oh my gosh I cried.

It was such a joyous occasion.

They decided for themselves they were going to keep it a secret because they wanted me to play Hangman with my regular classes to let them figure it out.  We'll see how many students know about it by tomorrow ;)

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And just a little update on our plans for the birth... we toured at St. Joseph's last night.  It's no Birthing Inn, but it was much nicer than I'd pictured for a hospital.  Looks like the place :)

The Business of Being Born

Many people don't seem to understand how strongly I desire a "natural birth."

It might be kind of... I don't know... pretentious of me, but I was born to be a mom.  Ever since I was a little girl, I've wanted to be a mom.  As I grew older, I couldn't wait to get pregnant, carry my child, and most of all, experience birth.

I never, ever expected or anticipated twins.  I always just assumed everything would go exactly as I planned.  I'd get pregnant, I'd feel great and take good care of my body and exercise, I'd give birth naturally, and it'd all work out.

Now that I've got the twins, my dreams and expectations of birth are shifting dramatically.

Can I be really honest with you?  My ultimate dream for this birth: vaginal birth in a comfy bed with no chemicals or meds whatsoever.  Natural pain relief (water, massage, breathing techniques).  I want to be totally aware and totally involved in my birth.

Now let me be honest with myself.  These are twins.  There are two babies.  And so far, they're growing at normal fetal sizes and rates.  They'll more than likely be normal infant weights.  I've already accepted that I can't give birth in my dream  location, the Birthing Inn.  It is hard for me to accept, but I have gotten over it.  What I'm having trouble accepting is that since I'm going to be in a hospital, I'm going to be pricked on prodded and poked with needles, I'm going to be attached to machines and IV's, and I don't like that.  I don't want tubes and blinking lights and beeping machines; I don't want things strapped to my head.  I absolutely don't want my babies sucked out by vacuum or yanked out by forceps.

I'm trying very, very hard to accept that there may be surgery involved with delivering the twins.  That's the hardest part for me right now.  I want to see my loves when they are born,  I want to hold them.  I want to remember every moment.  I want their daddy there, I want their grandma and I want pictures and I want this special moment with my twins and my family.  I want to let my body do what it is created to do.  So it's so hard to imagine Cesarean.  My next step is accepting that they may have to be delivered that way.

The good news is, my midwives deliver at St. Joseph's, where we'll be delivering.  So I get to have one of the amazing women who are so involved in my pregnancy there to deliver my babies, with the option of the doctor and emergency services there in case I need them.  The best thing I can do is write my birth plan and hope that it can be followed as closely as possible.

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I'm currently watching The Business of Being Born, a documentary about birth and delivery in the United States and how we don't let women's bodies do what they're meant to do.  It's making me feel even more strongly that I want natural birth-- not a typical "American Birth."  I want to be aware, I want to be present.

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No matter how you're born, I can't wait to meet you, little twins.

Ten Week Update

We're at 10w+6 days!

Last Wednesday was our Medical History class... two hours of filling out paper work and learning how to have a healthy pregnancy.  I have to say, as much as we're excited about our twins, I couldn't help but feel like an "odd man out" compared to the rest of the moms in our class.  It seemed like there was a lot of "this is how your pregnancy will be... unless you're having twins."  "This is healthy for you to do... except if you're carrying twins."  There were a couple of strong feelings... pride and feeling a little bit special, and also a little bit singled out.

It was a bit of a disappointing appointment.  We got news that I already knew deep down, but ended up hurting me anyway.  Silly, yes... but I was so disappointed to hear that twins are too "at risk" for the Birthing Inn.  It's such an incredibly beautiful place and it was perfect for delivering our little ones... but they wouldn't be safe there, and neither would I.  So it's going to be in the hospital.

And at this point, a few days later, I've accepted it.

I did learn officially that our twins are di/di (dizygotic), meaning that they are in two separate sacs and that they both have their own placentas.  Higher chance of them being fraternal, and better chances of a healthy pregnancy and birth.

We're almost out of the first trimester.  I'm excited to start growing in my belly past the point that it's just pudgy, and I'm ecstatic to be done with the morning sickness and exhaustion.

So this update has been poorly written and hasn't been full of information... so I'm going to sign out.  :)  More to come when I know more about these twinsies!

It's a..... TWIN?!

Yesterday was our first ultrasound, where we got to see our baby for the first time.

We anxiously awaited the appointment for two weeks, knowing our baby would look like a little bean, but still excited to see it's little vegetable self.

We rushed in a little late, and they got us right in to see the ultrasound tech.  Once she got me settled and got everything started, I was feeling less anxious; I was ready to see this baby!  Her TV screen, which usually allows the parents to see what's going on as the tech does it, was broken, so she would have to turn her screen towards us when she actually found something for us to see.

She started running through the typical questions-- I thought.  She asked "any history of twins in your family?"  "Nope," I said right away (not realizing I had one aunt along the line who had them).  Her next words were not the next question in a series that ultrasound techs have to ask.  Her next words were...

"Well, there is now."

It didn't register with me at first.  I was just kind of like, oh, okay, wait, WHAT?!  She turned the screen to me.  "Yup, there's two babies."

I was shocked, stunned, without words, behind belief.  Immediate tears hit, and I looked at Rob, who's mouth was agape.  He had this giant open-mouth smile on his face.  I think we were both shocked, excited, and scared to death.  (At least I know I was!)

We talked through the rest of the ultrasound as the tech showed us pictures.  We had a million questions for her, poor lady.  She described our babIES as little gummy bears, and showed us the "balloons" they were holding (their yolk sacs).

Baby B

Baby A

Gummy Bear

Both babies are fine-- great heart rates, perfect size, and each in their own individual sac.  They're only 8 weeks, but as of right now, they are perfectly healthy.

We called Rob's mom and grandma right away, and went straight to my parents house, where we told them and called the grandparents.  We tried calling uncles.  Rob wanted to tell EVERYONE.  It was a fabulous exciting time.

As soon as we got home, Rob started researching twins.  He wanted to know everything he could about the pregnancy and about raising them.  He's going to be a great daddy.

Well, it's twins, so this adventure just got even more exciting.  Our next appointment is on May 22, and that day can not come soon enough.

The Big Reveal

We're going to be parents.  Rob and I.  It's happening.  We are going to be someone's mommy and daddy.  And it's happening in 7 months!

We were as surprised as everyone else to find out that we were expecting.  And among the great variety of reactions we received  the most important one, ours, was very positive.

We found out in the middle of the night.  I had taken tests earlier in the day that were "inconclusive" (I bought Walgreens brand tests instead of name brand... don't ever do it!) and couldn't take the new tests that I bought right away (if you know what I mean).  So when I woke up in the middle of the night with a full bladder, I wasn't going to wait any longer to take the test.  I think it was about 1:30 in the morning.  It was digital, easy to read.

The other two were NOT that positive at first, and it says they're not accurate after the first 10 minutes (that's when they became more clear) so I didn't believe them.  Thanks, Clearblue, for being so easy!

So there it was.  I couldn't react.  I couldn't smile, or cry, or be afraid... I just woke Rob up and told him.

He sat up with me while I began research-- for hours.  I downloaded apps on my phone, I read blogs and articles, I looked at pictures... I became a pregnancy expert.  All night.  I didn't sleep.  We got really excited together, Rob and I, and I couldn't go back to sleep!

The next day I was so sick, and I figured it was just in my head.  Now that I know I'm pregnant, I'm all of a sudden nauseous?  Whatever, stupid body.

But it definitely wasn't sick.  My "morning sickness" (read: all day this effing sucks sickness) was, and still is, miserable.

That day, I spent every spare moment researching doctors, birthing rooms, hospitals, midwives... everything I could to make sure that I got the best treatment and care for myself and my new little one (which I knew at the time through my research was about the size of an apple seed).  I decided on the Pearl Place Women's Clinic which delivers at the Birthing Inn.  Pearl Place had incredible reviews and seemed to fit my hippie-ish ideals, so it just fit.  I called and made an appointment for the following Monday.

It was a looooong wait to that first appointment on April 22.  But all my suspicions about Pearl Place were correct-- they were fabulous!  They were nice, congratulatory, and so very helpful.  I didn't want a place that was going to be no-nonsense and rush me through; they were very understanding, uplifting, and supportive of this excited new mom and dad.

It was a perfect fit.

And after I gave them like all of the blood from my body (and all the pee) we were off with a set of 3 appointments all 2 weeks apart.

We set off right away in planning.  We bought a bouncer, a crib, and a changing table/dresser combo.  Even though our house isn't ready, even though we were 8 months away, we were excited and wanted to prepare.

Our next appointment was to be a dating ultrasound on April 6, where we would get to see our tiny baby for the first time.  And we couldn't wait.